Welcome friends! I completed my first week on the road by myself. Last Tuesday I headed to Columbia, South Carolina to deliver my truckload of Sears merchandise on Wednesday. Then I returned to Memphis on Thursday to pick up another load which I delivered in Anderson, SC on Friday before returning to Memphis that night.
It’s one thing to accompany an experienced driver when he makes his routine trips, and yet another to take full responsibility for one’s own load and be all alone during the process. It was a very difficult week for me. On Tuesday, I ran into rain between Birmingham and Atlanta, rain that would continue until I reached Columbia late Tuesday night. You can imagine what rain does to Atlanta traffic at rush hour. It took me 3 hours–3:30-6:30 PM– to get through Atlanta. (My return trip through the city a few days later around 2 PM took only 40 minutes.)
I’m discovering that truck driving requires a complete re-orientation to my life up to this point. I am 58 years old and have enjoyed the benefit of being able to pretty much control my day to day routines in my previous vocations of counselor, minister, print shop owner, etc. Now, I am in a career that promises no routine and actually takes a large amount of control out of my hands. I am now at the control of such things as weather, traffic, other drivers, schedules, my dispatcher, fatigue, etc. Truck driving means having to readjust my diet, bathroom habits, sleep routine, free time. I wait a lot: for Sears to unload my truck (anywhere from 1-4 hours), for traffic to move, for fuel. I wait in line for such things as food, fuel and a shower at nearly every truck stop. I sleep in my truck except when I must have some semblance of sanity and rent a cheap motel room (this will become more rare as I become acclimated to my new vocation). And the fact that my skills are not yet honed means that I have to concentrate on every little action. I have to focus hard on every turn, every stop, every gear change (my truck has 10 foward gears), every backing up process, every underpass (my truck is 13′6″ high), every pound (I’ll get fined for being overwheight), every weigh station. At the end of the day, I am spent emotionally and physically. But I am growing spiritually!
Last Tuesday was the worst day of my life that I can remember…first day on the job, long traffic waits, an “incident” in a truck stop, pouring and chilly rain, plus a reaction to medication I had been taking all made the day seem like a week of unfortunate events. I finally got settled in my truck’s twin bed around 10:30. I slept until 5 when I got up and headed for my delivery at 7:30. Still reeling from the day before, my spirits were low. Then I heard a song by Judy Collins that included some lines from the story of Peter walking to Jesus on the lake. You know the story of how Peter took his eyes off Jesus, became frightened by the raging waters around him and began to sink. Then he cried out to Jesus who took him by the hand and lifted him to safety. The line in the song that turned my day around was “only the drowning can see Jesus.” Man, was that good news to me! I was drowning! Tears began to flow and I must have cried for the next 100 miles. Some were tears of self-pity; some were sorrow, but mostly, they were tears of joy! A drowning man was again seeing Jesus. That song…rather the reminder that God cares for the down and out and losers..turned the whole trip around.
Truth is, this is a scary business. Lots of unknowns and unknowables. Lots of interruptions. Lots of factors that can throw the whole day into chaos. (Some of you work in vocations where this is routine, but it’s all new to me. Yes, I’m a whimp!) I am so glad to know that at least one thing doesn’t change…my relationship with the Father. He’s always there. He always cares. He always delivers. Anywhere with Jesus (Columbia, Anderson, Pell City, Alexander City, Atlanta, Sylacauga) I can safely go.
Today, I leave on another trip to central Alabama. Now, I’m more aware that I won’t be alone.
Susan Rubio said
Beautiful reminder of what truly brings life . . . and it’s not control and order; it’s that salvation moment when Jesus comes walking on the weather to snatch me from what threatens to destroy me or lull me to complacency.
Susan Thurman said
WOW! I admire you more than ever, big brother. Your hardships made me sad but your relationship with Jesus makes me happy. You are an encourgement to us all.
Charles Kiser said
Hey Steve. Great entry. What an adventure this is for you! I can identify with the disorientation that comes with a new job…this church planting stuff is taking some getting used to also.
I’m proud of you. My prayers are with you. I’ll continue reading the blog with anticipation.
Steve said
Dad – Sorry to hear about your cruddy day. You’ll have to describe in more detail this “incident” in the truck stop over Thanksgiving.
I’m sure you whooped his …
Jim Thurman said
Dear Brudder-in-law,
I, too, am am one of your biggest fans. Next time there’s an incident call me. I’ll be there in a heartbeat. I’m sure by now that you are getting more comfortable with your “rig”. You are an encouragement to us all, and to be admired for your faith and courage. Certainly an example for me.
Carlo
Kent Blake said
This job I have will change but I am not near a computer too much. Just now read this.
Glad week one is behind you at this point. This adventure in moving is already teaching us something about God, for you and us who are riding by your side.
Paul Kiebish said
Steve. Trust me. I know where you are. I tried to tell you that it was the biggest roller coaster ride for me. I finally had to stop trying to be in control and give it to the right person. It was the most freeing experience I ever had. Suddenly things fell into place and although there are a number of bumps in the road. I am not so worried. You are in his hands and that is unconditional.
Love Paul
Bruce Bates said
Hey Steve,
Thanks for your tales. You know you are where Jesus would be. I just pray for your light to continue to shine. I just came from a mtg tonight where I was reminded how all of us are at best “cracked pots.” But doesn’t our brokenness allow the light to come out? “Lord, break us for your work.”
Thanks brother,
Bruce
Timothy Dunn said
Steve
You always surprise !
I pray you will continue to be safe and confident in the care of our Lord.
td
Ed Wilks said
Steve-O,
Amazing to hear about the next chapter of your life. I spoke w/ Arthur last night and he gave me the link. A person who can learn new things is a person who is still alive. I’ve been learning a few new things lately myself. Not easy, but often interesting. The mental picture that comes to mind right now is the Claude Akins character on that 70’s TV truckin’ show. Got to get you some of that Royal Crown Hair Dressing that comes in a flat can. Some Redwing boots. You’re probably already there. Steve, I appreciate you. You’ll be in my prayers. Just one more angel out there on the highways for you. If you’re ever on I-10 west of San Antonio, stop by and see us in Boerne. We’re just shootin’ distance from the highway.
Always,
Ed
Matt Elliott said
Wow. WOW. Does your 8-track player work on that rig?
I prayed for you today, buddy. Give my love to your sweet wife.
Kieth & Diane Mitchell said
Steve:
We just opened the site. What an adventure! Much time for reflection, for feeling and not feeling. I am convinced the solitary aspect puts one in touch with feelings and nonfeelings before not experienced. Hope you continue to enjoy the journey/adventure.
Drive safe. You are very important to all of us. Margie is with us until Thanksgiving Sunday. She is always a delight as are all our children more precious as the years go by.
Happy Thanksgiving to you, Lynn and the boys whether you are all together or apart.
Much love,
Kieth & Diane
holmark said
Thanks to all of you for your comments, and for those who read but didn’t leave a note. I hope you will continue to read, mainly as a way for me to connect with some of the most special people I know. If you received my notice of this blog it means that we have a history and that you have played an important part in my life. You continue to mean so much to Lynn and me.
Steve Sr.
Louise Burnett said
Sounds like a new challenge for the son of God you are. God will bless you with time alone and you will grow. Your thoughts will help us too. Enjoy the sunrises and sunsets and all the time God gives you, then cherish the time you have with family and friends. In Christ, Louise
tc3fngrs said
I can relate to new jobs, not being in control, drowning, and falling tears. Thanks for sharing this life experience, for letting me know that 58 year old men can cry (and talk about it), and for sending me your blog link.
Earl Manning said
Hi Steve. Thanks for the sharing. Please know that you are not alone out there on the road. Certainly our Lord is with you (and within you) and you can’t get any closer than that. May you also remember that the thoughts and prayers of many dear friends and loved ones are with you too. So keep on truckin’ …and write on! Grace, peace and love. em
Philip Cummings said
Hey Steve. I was asking Lynn about you yesterday, and she forwarded me your site. I’m happy to hear all about your adventures and how God is drawing you near. You are in my prayers today. -PC
Robert Scobey said
Thanks for letting me into this new part of your life. You’ve always encouraged and surprised me. Ruth and I will be thinking of you often.–Robert
Chris Elrod said
Steve,
You continue to encourage and inspire me. Thanks for sharing this part of your life and know that you are not alone out there, the Lord is with you every mile you travel. You’re in my thoughts and prayers.
Ride on good buddy!
ce
Kieth Mitchell said
You asked about worshipping outside of “church.” The longer I live I believe that worship is all of life.
The story that follows was really born out of a suggestion by our daughter, Margie:
Several from our little community of faith here in Miami experienced powerful worship Thanksgiving morning. About 60 gather on Sundays and Thursdays. The sisters prepared 60 traditional meals (just like we would all have later in the day the at our tables with family and friends).
The brothers took themeals down to streets where the greatest community of our homeless neighbors live. We not only got to minister “to the least of these” but with them praised and glorified the Lord. With about half of those we shared our meals with, we also huddled in little circles or knelt in the dirty streets to pray for them as they poured out the painful stories of their lives.
We found two evangelists on the streets who had drifted far from the Lord’s will through drugs, etc. Both asked that we beg the Lord for deliverance from their demons. Both wanted deliverance and committed to stay within their transient community to minister to those who do not know the Lord.
One gentleman was suffering a high fever and was shivering with cold–yes, it got down to 49 in Miami Thanksgiving morning. A non-Christian with us took off his new coat and gave it to the man. The man broke down in tears and insisted on giving the coat back to my friend because in that way, he insisted, “We can both experience the joy of knowing it is more blessed to give than receive!”
A buddy of mine, went around the van and took his own new jacket off and came back with the message, “I just found a spare coat in the van” and gave it to the shivering man. It was a jacket he had just received as a gift.
This kind of stuff is where the rubber meets the road in worship. This is what bringing our gifts to the altar is all about. This is what Jesus defined as the dividing line between those who are “good and faithful servants.”
Worship for too many of us has often been something which takes place at a certain time and place with special religious ceremonies and functions. Because of this, all related activities of these special gatherings are thought to be of very special importance to the Lord., in fact of the greatest importance to the Lord
The predominate idea of worship for many Christians is the Lord’s Day gathering. The Lord’s Day gathering is often seen as an especially holy and a more sacred time of worship than other times and gatherings. The Lord’s Day gathering is perceived to be regulated by rules and directives which are not equally binding for the other times and places and occasions when the congregation gathers.
The biblical facts are that no gathering of the church in the New Covenant Scriptures was ever designated as “worship.” Equating Christian worship uniquely with a congregational gathering is a product of the institutional church which sometimes “winks the eye” at the grim reality that Sunday morning holiness is too often followed by Monday morning worldliness.
But most important of all, our Lord Jesus personally addressed the false notion of thinking that “worship” is a matter of special places, special times and special ceremonies. The Samaritan woman at the well at Sycar (John 4) was concerned about getting “worship right.” Jesus, in his ministry, did not “give in” to the Pharisaical notion that holy days or the temple or the Sabbath or the synagogues were to be seen as significantly different from other days and places in the sense of doing the will of Lord or even worshipping the Lord. Jesus insisted it was not the specialness of the Samaritan Holy Mountain or Temple Mount in Jerusalem. He insisted that the time was already present for men and women to understand that faithful worship is living and serving the Father “in Spirit and in truth!”
In the letters of the Apostles, only Paul comes closest of all writers to giving a precise definition of what “worship” means and what it is all about:
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God-THIS IS YOUR SPIRITUAL ACT OF WORSHIP. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:1-2)
Faithful worship is all of life, every day and every place. Worship is living and breathing the will of the Lord. This understanding makes all of life sacred and holy. No part of a believer’s life can become profane. There can be no secular dimension in a believer’s life. All of life is Christian Ministry. All of life is worship. To think of being “God’s holy people twenty-four/seven” is a great responsibility and yet very liberating at the same time. This is why the Apostle Paul can give the wonderful instructions about the intimacies of marital love, and see the marital relationship as sacramental because the relationship between a Christian husband and wife is a sacred covenant and embraces a sacred act of worship. Sex, in a Christian marriage, is not fleshly but spiritual. Marital intimacies for Christians derive holiness from their reflection of another marriage, the great mystery of Christ and his marriage with the church, his bride (Ephesians Chapter 5).
Steve, my brother, keep on trucking and taking your gifts to the altar at every truck stop and at every loading dock.
Kieth
Joyce Ann Dorris Evans said
Steve,
Thanks for sharing your blog with me. I read your comments and feel honored that you think I am an important part of your life. Yes, we do have a “history.” I still remember riding the train from Memphis to Guthrie one Christmas, even though you don’t remember that! I also remember the time I fell down the steps of the Ivory Tower and you helped me up and I said how thoughtful that was of you and you said, “I just don’t want you suing!” You have chosen a tedious and meticulous job, Steve Holt, but I have no doubt that you will be successful and that you will touch the lives and spirts of many, many people! I will look on truck drivers in a very different light now that I know you are one of them! Please be very careful on your journies! Merry Christmas to you and your family. Joyce Ann
Julie said
Wow!! What in the world- All that I have to say is… Good for you! (and “keep on truckin’!!”- tacky, but true) What a wonderful ministry opportunity you have! Shane and I will be praying for you as you continue on this journey! Thanks so much for including us in your life and sharing your spiritual journey with so many! May God pour out His richest blessings upon you and Lynn!!! Much love to you both! Can’t wait to continue on this journey “with” you!
Ed Baker City Or said
Dear Steve,
I have read a few of the comments and I think that I did not happen upon this site by accident. I Just turned 59 in July and moved from Huntington Beach, California to Pasco, Washington. After 40 years in the same profession I closed my business of 27 years after a business failure (Jesus suscess).
I have just moved to Baker City Oregon to take a 6 week college course for my CDL. I made this decission after stopping at a truck stop near my community. I seen great ministry need. Every day with Jesus leading is a wonderful day. My most enjoyable day is when I see Him working through me. Thanks for doing this bog. I will use your idea to stay connected with family and friends…so nice.
I know that Jesus must be abiding in you by the number of church family and friends that send their best wishes. It is so uplifting for the body of Christ to allow the love of Christ to flow through them. If you have any BIG GOD IDEAS on how ministry or loving services could be provided at truck stops by the Lords Church lets pray it up and let me join in that prayer for the lonesome truckers all over this country.
Please email me direct at asi11@surfside.net .
Youir Brother In Jesus
Ed H
Baker City, Oregon