We have lots of videos of Christmases past when the boys were little. As they grew and the presents become more practical and less “toy”, one thing didn’t change from year to year. Every Christmas and birthday, the boys had to show each present to the camera and say who that present was from. “This “Etcha Sketch” is from Aunt Susan,” little Stephen would say. Mitch might say, ”Thanks, Uncle Richard, for this nice sweater,” as he held up his gift. When the boys were real young, the process would get pretty funny. Little Mitch might say something like, “This baboon (balloon) is from Uncle Ginny.” Well, the process was the same at every Christmas and birthday: open the presents, hold each one up and say “thank you” to the giver.
I really regret having had the boys go through that gruelling process. My intentions were to instill in them a sense of gratitude. I didn’t want them to take gifts for granted, focusing more on the gift than the generosity of the giver.
Maybe my obsession came from my own years of lack of gratitude, when I took things for granted and even had the nerve to complain when I didn’t have the things I wanted when I wanted them.
Not sure here, but I think that maybe ingratitude more than anything irks God. He pours out sunshine and rain on good people and bad alike. We wouldn’t last one nano-second without his generous provisions, yet we complain so much. It’s too hot. It’s too cold. Too much rain. Not enough rain. Nothing good on TV. I’m bored. Is this all there is? I haven’t eaten in two hours! All I do is work, work, work! She is so uppity! He’s so strange. Why can’t you be like other husbands? Our house is too small. My car is five years old. Why can’t I have an iPod like everyone else? My hair won’t do right. I wish I had hair. And on and on and on…
I really don’t know the secret to being grateful. Except perhaps to put yourself around people who have far less than you, or those whose health has failed them. Maybe it would help to live on half our salary for a year. I really think it would help if we get our focus off those who have more than we do and simply enjoy what we have. (A young couple I know has committed to not purchasing anything new for a year.)
I am really trying to grow in this area of thankfulness. When you try, it’s amazing what you find to be thankful for. Things that I took for granted in the past hold new value to me now. I love sunsets and sunrises. And time with Lynn doing nothing. And working in the yard. And hamburgers. And our neighbors. And every ache-free morning. And work. And old hymns. And sons who are not in a war. And freedom. And our house. And chess pie. And old friends. And memories…
Do you have any ideas on developing an attitude of gratitude? Some of you do this very well and I’d like for you to share your secret. What are you most thankful for?
Cindy Putnam said
My sister, who is six years older than I, contracted polio when she was just a few months old. The Salk vaccine hadn’t been invented, and people were deathly afraid of somehow getting it. Jane survived, but had to always wear braces and crutches to walk.
One day, at the age of about 14, I was complaining to my mother about how bony my legs were (yeah, I was skinny back then – hard to believe now!), and she said something I’ve never forgotten: “I’ll bet little Janie wishes she had legs like yours.” That one little comment pierced my heart, and I saw the ugliness of my ingratitude for the first time. It’s been over 35 years since that day, but it always (eventually!) comes to mind when I complain about trivial things.
Wayne Holt said
Steve,
I think an understanding of the subject of your previous blog is a good start. It’s a humble attitude brought about by the realization that I have had little to do with providing all that I enjoy: the great country I were born in; into the wonderful family whose name I wear; the opportunity to become, and achieve most anything I set my mind to; and especially the salvation extended to me through grace, complete with the Holy Spirit to generate the power needed to overcome my weak flesh, and to live with joy regardless of circumstances! For these things I am thankful….and to you Steve for your blog which encourages and challenges me.
blessings,
Wayne
Wayne Holt said
I meant the country I “was born in” not “were born in”. Just wanted to correct in case Mrs. Chitwood (my H.S. English teacher) is looking down from Heaven.
WH
Steve Holt Sr. said
Great story, Cindy. That’s exactly what I’m talking about…when we are prone to complain, remember that there is someone in far worse shape than we. Thanks.
Wayne: This is Mrs. Chitwood calling…(relax, it’s just your cousin).
Thanks for the reminder of things to be thankful for. I got to thinking about “the great country I was born into” and realize that even when it doesn’t function like it was originally intended, it’s still far better than most. A nation that even professes to be “Christian” seems to carry those Godly principles some of the time. There are still many good intentioned believers in this land.
Happy 4th, all!
Jon J said
We are all blessed immeasurably more than we realize or deserve. I’ve visited several developing countires in years long past and because of that I’ve always been thankful for what I’ve had. My interactions with the poor and those who have addictions and other struggles have only served to re-enforce my thankfulness.
It’s hard to pass this on to our kids. We tend to heap upon them the things and opportunities that we did not have. My wife and I try to impress upon them the fact that we are wealthy far beyond most of the world’s dreams. We try to expose them to other cultures, people outside out socio-economic group. We will not know the outcome until they are on their own.
I still appreciate their thank yous when we take them out to eat and enjoy their enthusiasm when they thank family and friends for gifts. I just hope their feels are truely heartfelt and that they quietly thank God for all the blessings that they see and don’t see.